THE INTERNET LIES TO ME!
by OnnaMurcielago666
Summary: "Look at this rip-off! I ordered the Arcobaleno soldier, not some crazy hall-monitor!" When June Lee orders a 'Colonello' android off the Internet, she never imagined that she would get Hibari instead, or that she would make the biggest mistake; order five more! Join June and co. in their attempts to get by without killing their neighbours or each other! (MANUAL/UNIT STORY)
1. The Crate of Lies

**~The 'Hibari' and 'Colonnello' manuals belong to Cloverfish and Lulu-ichigo, respectively. Check 'em out!~  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
****CHAPTER 1  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

"THE INTERNET **LIES **TO ME!"

One very-angry teenage girl kicked the box before her in annoyance, cursing when her foot began to throb. The crate was hard, heavy, and its label clearly marked it as a '_V.10 series Guardian (Cloud)/Hibari, Kyoya2_'. Now, the box may have been quite the thing to have, but this girl was unsatisfied.

She had specifically ordered a '_Colonnello_', and this seemed –at least to her- like a poor substitute.

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS OUTRAGE!" She bellowed, sounding slightly psychotic. "JUNE LEE WILL NOT BE MOCKED BY A CREATION OF-"

"SHUT **UP**, LEE!" June's neighbour shrieked, piercing her rant and snapping her out of her tirade. She looked around sheepishly, glad her parents were workaholics, and took a few deep breaths.

_'__Alright, calm..._'June thought, trying her mother's meditation technique. She tried her very hardest to picture a blooming lotus, but she immediately got sucked into an anime montage. '_Damn it!_' Now she was ready to-

"_Midori tanabiku namimori no/ Dai naku shou naku name ga ii/_" June groaned as her phone went off in her pocket. It was her 'improved' ring-tone that a Hibari fan had programmed for her after getting June to sing it. Apparently she had sung it "so purely and lovingly, like a true Namimori girl" that the fan had felt "the true spirit of Namimori Middle School" was needed every time she got a call.

"When I get a new phone...!" June threatened, flipping it open to see her friends crowding close to the video screen. "Oh."

"Say it!" They cheered, grinning. "Say it! Say it! Say it!"

June rolled her eyes. "... Ciaossu." Scowling, June waited for their giggles to subside, and then turned her camera to the label. "Look at this rip-off! Does it say Colonnello to you?"

"OH MY GOD! IT'S HIBARI!"

"Exactly!" June said grumpily, "I ordered the Arcobaleno soldier, not some crazy hall-monitor!" Her friends were laughing, giggling and squealing too much to comment snarkily, so June asked: "What?"

"Shhh!" they hissed, "You're scaring him!"

"Him?" June looked around in confusion. "Him who?"

"Hibird~!"

"Piyo*!" The cheerful chirp coming out of June's hair made her jump and cry out. She felt little bird talons graze her scalp and angled her phone to take a picture. She ignored how her best friends' squealing at its cuteness made the bird antsy and took a snapshot. "Pi-Piyo*!"

"Sorry," June grunted, clicking 'view'. It **was **Hibird! Nestled in her hair sat a round, fluffy canary bird with a blank expression caught in mid-chirp. "What the hell?"

"Pi-Pi*!" Hibird chirped, flapping its little wings. "Piyo*!"

"He's so cute!" June's friends cooed, and June snapped,

"How do I get him out of my hair?!"

"Sing." Leered the fans. "He may think you're Hibari and obey you."

June frowned: "You just want me to sing **it**."

"That too~!" Weighing her options, June looked at her friends uneasily and then glanced around her. Turning back, she held up a warning finger.

"I will not be recorded." She said, quickly singing the anthem as casually as she could. Unfortunately, the song's beat always made her smile a little, and the smile made her voice more in tune.

"Well done, herbivore." Said Hibari, and June snorted.

"Very funny, girls. The 'herbivore-carnivore' crap doesn't-" June paused when she saw the awe on her friends' faces. "No way..."

They nodded mutely, mouths open.

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
****~The 'Hibari' and 'Colonnello' manuals belong to Cloverfish and Lulu-ichigo, respectively. Check 'em out!~**  



	2. Negotiations

******~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~  
**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
**CHAPTER 2  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June didn't move for a moment. In the silence, she could hear her heart pounding blood through her ears and a light breathing that was not hers.

"Um..."

"Here." Hibari said sharply, voice low, and June whipped around all at once with her fists up. Her phone fell, unnoticed, and from it, her friends watched in horror as June faced down the tonfa-wielder bare-handed. The speaker was –as expected- a perfect model of the character, from his wind-blown black hair to the toes of his spotless black shoes. He was glowering at June silently, sizing her up, with one hand at her eye-level and its palm to the sky.

"Huh?"

"Come here." Hibari repeated, eyes above hers. Oh!

"Oh, you mean him!" June said, pointing to the canary getting cozy in her hair. "For a second, I-"

"Be quiet, or I'll bite you to death." June froze, mouth open in shock.

"RUN, JUNE! RU-" Hibari ended the call. He picked up her phone calmly, turning it off, and dropped it without caution. His eyes dared June to protest but he didn't expect the response he got.

"Holy shit, guy!" June blurted angrily, "What is your damage?"

"Her-"

"Don't call me 'herbivore', you jerk!" June scowled, "This is **my **house! You can't just waltz outta your crate and run the joint!" The young girl unfolded her arms and fisted her hands, placing them against her hips. "Got it?"

"Hn." In the blink of an eye, Hibari brought his tonfa down toward her and she raised an arm to block it before it could connect. The second tonfa came flying to uppercut her, but she blocked it with her upper arm and winced as the blow stabbed spirals of pain into her elbow.

"Aiyah!" June let it slip before she could stop herself and she quickly propelled herself back from the boy. "Quit it! What's wrong with you?!"

"Silence, herbivore. Fight me." June panicked when the teen came at her again viciously, beating at her upraised arms to try and get at her face. The tonfa drew welts and bruises all over her body, smashing against her as she fled for some semblance of safety. Her martial arts weren't any use with him wielding weapons, so June was forced into defence every time.

"Calm down!" June shrieked, wincing as he delivered blows to her shins and ribs. It was getting harder and harder to dodge, so blocking was becoming her only option. "Ow!" A brutal smash to her spine and backs of her knees dropped June like a used condom and she let out a loud groan.

"Surrender, herbivore?" Asked the android, lifting her chin with the end of the tonfa. She glared up at him through her bangs and didn't say a word. "Surrender." That prompted a dark, threatening order.

"I'll surrender once I bite you to death." Hibari's scowl changed as he lifted her chin higher.

"Fierce for a herbivore,"

"Go die."

"Hn." Eyes narrowed, the two teens sat at a stalemate for a long silence and neither android nor human would have moved had Hibird not sang out from its nest in June's hair. "Come here, bird."

"Pi-yo*!" The little canary didn't obey Hibari and snuggled deeper into her soft, dark locks.

"Bird..." Hibari said warningly, pulling back a tonfa slowly.

"Buzz off, fluff-ball!"

"Hi-bari!" June froze when the little bird nesting in her hair cheeped its master's name, snuggling deeper until its tiny claws could scrape her scalp. "HI-BARI! **HI-BARI**!"

Said android boy gave her an icy, paralysing glare.

"What have you done, herbivore?"

"**Me**?" June yelped, "How is it **my **fault?" She sat back, breaking their stand-off, and narrowly missed getting hit with the end of his tonfa as it sailed past her eye.

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
********~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  



	3. Beatings

******~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
**CHAPTER 3  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

"You" Hibari kept swiping, introducing his second tonfa, "tricked" and June yelped as one blow deeply dented her living room floor. "him." June was running out of things to hide behind as their little brawl began to destroy her living room and, in a last-ditch attempt, she dove at him and caught his nearest arm as she sailed past. Her velocity carried both of them down in a crash of limbs and Hibird cheeped loudly as the trio hit the ground. It hopped of, avoiding a hit, and calmly returned to her hair.

"Pi-yo*!" "I hate you."

"Silence, herbi-" Hibari paused.

"...not going to finish?" June sat up out of the Hibari-floor sandwich and eyed the black-haired teen warily. She had a tonfa in one hand, holding it backwards, and he was sizing her up with a large scowl.

"...carnivore."

June shrugged and got up: "I'll take that as a compliment." but was down flat on her back the next moment staring up into the androids intense expression as he loomed over her.

"Don't. Carnivores are cocky, over-confident, and have one predator."

"What?" June blinked, shocked, and the end of a tonfa came down hard beside her face.

"The carnivore will always be prey to man." Hibari said quietly, his eyes digging into June's as she lay trapped beneath him. "Do you understand?"

"M-hm." June nodded slightly, averting her eyes, and Hibari's eyes glinted with primal joy; her submission was a small victory, but a victory none the less. He rose, holstering his tonfa with satisfaction, and surveyed the room blandly as if he were King of the House. She got up too, brushing off her clothes to try to cover up her embarrassment of losing the mental battle, and kept an eye on him.

"…"

"Are you hungry?"

"…"

"Is that a no?"

"…silence, carnivore."

"…" June sighed and tuned back to the crate, trying to find the number that would help her return the unit and/or sue whoever sent her this teenage terminator. It was dismantled on one side, the boards unbolted from the frame of the crate and kicked apart to get out easier.

'_How did I not __**hear**__ that?_' June wondered, fingering a broken board gingerly. It wasn't split, but the splintering bend was obvious. A shred of label clung to the wood like a tattered sail, revealing the model, so June quickly rebuilt the crate wall as best she could to piece together the shipping label.

"Seriously?" June groaned, "Nothing!"

"Carnivore…" Said Hibari warningly, glaring over his shoulder,

'_Shit!_' "Sorry, Hibari." June toned her voice down a bit and heaved a great sigh as she abandoned the remains of the crate and sat down. Her living room was a war zone of wood, dented furniture, and a few feathers and packing peanuts strewn about the wreckage. As if to emphasize, June felt a crunch beneath her foot and bit her lip, '_How will I explain this to mom and dad? It's like a bomb dropped in and threw a block party in here!_' June got up slowly, finding the android gone, and she did a quick search before she found him inspecting the premises thoroughly (but peacefully, thank God!) and went back to clean up the main room.

Fishing the vacuum out of the closet, June lugged the clunky appliance into the main room and, sighing again at the damage that had been done. June started it up and made quick work of the packing peanuts, which she cursed heartily as she worked, and worked diligently to try to hide all the scuffs and dents without being too obvious. Somewhere in the midst of her cleaning montage, the android teen returned to the main room and, watching her work with his arms crossed over his chest, stared her down until she felt a warning chill.

June looked up: "Oh. Um... yes?"

"I'm hungry, carnivore." Hibari said sternly, managing to sound as if he were scolding her for his hunger, and June paused in confusion, her arms full of his dismantled crate.

"And?" June replied snottily, scowling at the gall he had to demand food from her **now**. "I'm busy."

"Carnivore..." Hibari warned, his eyebrows bearing down on his dark eyes ever so slightly. June felt a prickle of fear roll up her spine but held her ground; he'd already fought her, so he knew he could beat her up. He wouldn't dare hit her again!

"No," June declared, "I've got to clean up our little rampage before my mother gets home. Or my father! You do it! You can cook; I know it! Go do it yourself and let me get rid of you... packaging."

"Make lunch first." Hibari told her seriously, crossing his arms over his chest imperiously. "I'm hungry."

"Well, you know what?" June growled, pointing the broom at him harshly and losing the civil edge in her voice. "I've gotta cover this" -She waved her free hand at the crate and shrapnel.- "up before anyone **sees**! I ordered a tiny unit I could hide, not some full-sized vigilante for school justice! If you can take down that huge robot for a ring, you can make your own lunch!" As June blustered and raged on about his ability for cooking and the ridiculous mess they'd made, the android was oddly unresponsive. Hibari stared, unaffected, and didn't even interrupt. "And so, Hibari-san, you can cook your own food; now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do!"

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

'_Life just isn't fair._' June thought as she sat at her table, munching sullenly on what the android called ''hamburger steak''. It was just hamburger, egg, some onions, and spices, but Hibari had insisted rather violently that it was ''hamburger steak''; June no longer argued.

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
********~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  



	4. Hamburger Steak

**********~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
**CHAPTER 4  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

"I'm dead." June concluded, taking another bite without gusto.

"Likely," Hibari agreed with a grunt, obviously unruffled by the idea of the doom that would find her in a few minutes. She was watching the clock almost religiously, and had developed a small tick with the second hand. It was beginning to give her a nervous twitch to watch the clock minute after minute -second after second- and June sighed heavily.

"I haven't even written my will..."

Hibird chirped loudly, dropping a notepad near her plate.

"...": Hibari extended a pen casually.

"Oh, shut up, both of you." June whimpered, pouting and resting her head on the tabletop. "Let me wallow in my own self-pity."

June waited.

And waited.

"Oh come on!" She shouted, lifting her head to find the teen android gone. "I wasn't serious! Thanks a" -Suddenly June took a hit to the top of her head and she bit her tongue.- "lot- OUCH!"

"Someone is coming." Hibari said in explanation, his uniform jacket draped over his shoulders and one tonfa at the ready. The weapon disappeared as, a few rooms away, the front door opened, and June quickly got to her feet.

"Hello?" She called,

"_Yuè_! It's me; I'm home!" Hurried footsteps- a stumble, some Chinese cursing- June frowned and forgot Hibari as she followed the commotion. "Your aunt is at the hospital and your mother and I are staying with her tonight." June found her father in the master bedroom, tossing clothes into the bag haphazardly. "Will you be alright by yourself? I know this is last-minute but-" "Will she be okay?" June didn't care about staying home alone -she wasn't really alone anyways!- but her aunt wasn't going to die without her being there. "What happened?"

"Nothing's wrong," Her father assured her softly, managing a tight smile for her. "it's just tough on her to have a baby at this age. She'll be fine." His phone buzzed in the hip holster and he whipped it out dedicatedly, forgetting his daughter for a moment. "I have to go." He said firmly, sliding the device away and closing the luggage bag.

"But Dad-" "Later." Her father interrupted, hurrying back down the hallway. "I've got to get our aunt some things as well and-"

"But it's imp-" "Text us if you have any problems. The contacts for emergencies are on the fridge. If you need anything else, that nice Italian couple three houses down will help you."

"Not the Carideos!" June groaned, "Anyone but the Carideos! They're so-" Her father wasn't even looking at her when she talked, let alone concerned by the boy in their main dining room. "Dad-"

"Sorry." Her father was on his way out the door when he finally encountered Hibari by the front door. He halted fully, making his daughter run into him from behind, and she scowled at his back. "_Li Yuè_, who is this?" June came to a halt as her father did a complete 180° to stare at her accusingly.

"He-" "Your daughter and I have a class together and she invited me over to work on an assignment." June nearly fainted with relief as the android in dressy clothes made her a good excuse.

However, her father wasn't easily fooled. "Which class?"

"English." June blurted before she could mess up anything. English was a class everybody took and the teen android on her left was supposed to be good at it.

"English…" her father said sceptically, glancing at Hibari. "Really?"

"Yes, sir."

Her father nodded: "Well then," June stiffened as he pointed at her. "I want your friend gone by eight, or your mother and I will be very unhappy with you, _Li Yuè_."

"_Shì de, fùqīn_!" June bowed a little, smiling, "I know Kyoya has obligations elsewhere, so he'll be gone. Don't worry," With a brisk nod, June's father left without a farewell, and she sighed in relief when he was gone. "Oh, thank God!" She moaned, dropping to her butt with a sigh. "I thought we were sunk for sure! I'm so glad you look responsible all the time!" June looked up at the unimpressed android without fear.

"Hn," He said, "I want more steak." Hibari turned away and went back to the plate on her dining room table, taking it to get more hamburger steak from the stove. June watched him go, catching sight of a tonfa as he disappeared from view, and she rubbed her ribs gingerly as she worried about what bruises she would find later.

She shrugged sorely, "How much is left, Kyoya?"

"Carnivore…"

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
********~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  



	5. For God's sake, Hibari, get off the roof

**********~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
**CHAPTER 5  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

After the last hamburger steak was eaten (by Hibari, of course, due to threatening), June washed their dishes solemnly as she struggled to find a solution to her newest problem. Where would she put Hibari now? He would need a place to sleep and, although she had been planning to keep Colonnello in her room, he couldn't stay in **her **room! The spare bedroom was out -her mother loved to clean and have guests regularly- and he couldn't sleep in the living room or the den -her father **lived **in that den.

With a sigh, June set the last plate into the drying rack and let the dishwater down.

"Carnivore," Hibari rumbled, catching June off-guard. "hurry up."

"Coming!" June replied snappily, clutching her racing heart. "Don't get your panties in a knot!"

"..." Dark silence followed and June felt her sweat chill on her skin. Hibari stepped into the kitchen, "I should bite you to death for that."

June couldn't control herself. "For what? Snapping at you or suggesting you wear ladies underwear?"

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June rubbed her upper arm gingerly, wincing at the stinging welts Hibari had raised there, and trudged down the hallway with the violent android teen behind her. She didn't want to show him to his room; she wanted to read the '_HIBARI KYOYA: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual_' that she had found while cleaning. It looked like it would help her, at least a little, and maybe provide an alternative to the corporal punishment he was delivering. Her karate was good, but the android was a monster with a metal weapon in each hand.

June had already suggested the basement (and been hit), the closet under the stairs (a slightly less forceful hit), the shed (that hit could've broken bone!), and was out of ideas.

"Well, I'm out of ideas." June admitted sourly, rubbing her head and shoulder. "I've suggested everywhere that I can think of and every one you've hit me for and rejected."

"With good reason."

"Where else could you sleep?" June asked sarcastically, bowing a little to the android and scowling at his shoes. "Hm? You wanna sleep in the attic or something?"

Hibari paused: "'The attic'?"

"No, the roof- yes, the attic!" June exclaimed petulantly, stomping one foot. "That's the only place I have left to offer you!" Reaching up, June leapt for the handle on the ceiling and yanked hard on it, pulling open the hatch and let the ladder slide out into place. Standing before the entrance, June waved Hibari up. "Go on, have a look!"

He passed her with a warning glare, tapping her cheek with the end of a tonfa, and quickly mounted the rungs up to the attic. Hibird followed on his heels, flapping furiously to keep up with him, and soon both disappeared into the dark of the attic. Before June could follow them, his head reappeared in the hole and, nose to nose with the prefect, June braced for a blow of rejection.

"Alright."

Her eyes flew open. "What?"

"I'll take it." When Hibari pronounced the attic suitable to live in, June nearly shrieked with joy, settling for a fist pump and an 'OH YEAH!'. "Silence, carnivore," Hibari growled, "I want blankets, and sheets, and pillows up here. Now." June whined lowly, her shoulders dropping, and Hibari's eyebrows fell darkly. "Pardon?"

"One pillow or two?" June ground out, forcing a smile.

"Two." '_Of couse,_' June found the android his bed sheets after a bit of digging and a good bit of quiet grumbling out of his earshot. "What are you even sleeping on?" June asked curiously, poking her head into the attic with the sheets tucked under one arm. She couldn't see Hibari anywhere! "Hibari? HIBARI?" Panicking, June scoured the attic for any trace of him, ready to call the police. He was- "KYOYA!"

"Carnivore," Came the reply, "be quiet or I'll bite you to death." June jumped, seeing no one, and stuck her head out the little porthole-esque window in case he was toying with her.

"Where **are** you?" June asked, and suddenly a foot rested on top of her head. "For God's sake, Hibari, get off the roof! What if my neighbours see you?!"

"Then I'll bite them to death." June should've expected that.

"You can't bite **everybody**!" June objected angrily, "The cops will arrest you and then you're in trouble!" Looking up, June met Hibari's glittering dark eyes and saw dark curiosity flash across them.

"Why?" He asked quietly, "Are they strong?"

"Haven't you ever heard the expression 'don't bite the hand that feeds you'?"

"..." Hibari looked out on the city silently.

"It means you don't hurt the thing providing for you! Like the freaking police!" June tugged on the android's ankle a little. "Now would you get off the goddamn roof?!"

"Hn." Hibari grunted, and June wilted disappointedly. "Move."

"Huh?"

Suddenly Hibari began moving on the roof and June fell back just in time as he came sailing through the porthole feet first, nearly kicking her full in the face. She lay there until it was silent and, anxiously, opened her eyes to see Hibari standing over her unimpressed.

"Sheets?" Hiabri said impatiently, making June actually fetch them from the hatch and follow him into a forest of packed boxes and covered furniture.

"Where are you- oh!" Suddenly, June saw her older brothers' bunk bed in a small clearing beyond the boxes. Behind her, the stacks of boxes and chairs blocked it from view completely! "I get it now!"

"Congratulations." Hibari said sarcastically, surprising June with the change of tone. "Blankets?"

June smiled: "By the ladder."

"Go get them."

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June's body ached as she sat down, wincing at the sting in her limbs.

'_He doesn't hold back._' She thought bitterly, opening her laptop and opening a browser window. She knew full well that half her bruises were the result of running off her mouth, but she didn't regret any smart-aleck remark she'd made. They had all been insanely satisfying, even after his blows in response.

"Alright," She muttered, her fingers working busily on the keyboard to pull up her history. It was late -**really** late- and soon her history would wipe and she'd be up the creek without a paddle. "where are you, Ota-Co.? I want your website..." June nearly laughed at her words, loving that the 'kufufu~' had been implied automatically, and shook her head as she kept scrolling. When June's eyes locked onto the link for the order form -the first 'Ota-Co.' link she could see on that page-, a horrifying pop-up blocked her view.

'_Clearing history; deleting files. 10%'_

"No, no, no, no, **no**!" JUne scrolled down frantically, cursing her Tumblr and Twitter to high heaven as she scoured the links for another 'Ota-Co.' page. Unfortunately, she hit the end and watched her Twitter history disappear. "Shit!" Scrolling back, June's cursor was only a dozen links ahead of the system, unable to do anything but stop the process at this point, so she double-clicked the form link and watched her history disappear.

Carding her fingers through her hair, June gawked at her empty history and released the breath she had been holding in. Her browser was loading the link -thank God!- and now all she had to do was wait.

And wait.

**And **wait.

AND- "YES! There **is** a God!"

Clicking frantically to remove the ad banners and windows, June revealed the 'Thank You For Your Business' note and her loading browser timed out before the home button could appear. Cursing, June reloaded and removed the ads, and reloaded again and again.

"_Gāisǐ dì dìyù_!" June cried furiously, her whole body tense and frustrated; it was already the next day, she was sore, she was hungry, and the page she wanted wouldn't load! "I" -June kicked the wall behind her desk.- "hate" -She did it again.- "tech-" -The violence made June feel a little better.- "nology!"

Suddenly, the framed photo that had been hanging on the wall above her desk fell behind her laptop, hitting the floor hard, and June groaned when she heard it shatter.

"That's it!" June said loudly, feeling her skin prickle as goosebumps rose on her bare skin. "I'm going to bed! I'm done with this!" Then she shut down her laptop and went to bed.

Had she considered what reloading a submitted form might do, June might now have been so careless in hitting the 'reload' button so many times. If she had remembered what happened when you reload a submitted form, she might not have allowed herself to select the link at all while her history was being wiped. Having now resubmitted her order form five times, June was in for a whole new world of trouble.

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
********~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  



	6. Burn It, Carnivore, Burn It With Fire

**************~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
**CHAPTER 6  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June groaned as the sunlight finally woke her; her curtains didn't block a pesky sliver from reaching her and, too awake now to sleep any more, June sat up. She rubbed her head, feeling her hair stick up at every possible angle, and stretched tiredly as she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and got up. The world spun for a moment, making June stiffen, but soon she relaxed and padded over to her closet for proper clothes.

Her nose quivered as she threw open the closet doors, smelling a hot breakfast, but June dismissed the scent as her imagination and pulled a pair of pants and shirt out by random. The grey didn't exactly go **well** with obnoxiously bright yellow, but June didn't reconsider the choices as she pulled on her pyjamas and dressed for the day. June yawned, stretching again until a few places in her back jumped, and sighed.

"Time to go..." She scooped her backpack up by one strap, checking absent-mindedly that everything she needed was inside, and tossed it over her shoulder as she passed from her bedroom to the bathroom and left it in the hall. Her hair **was** sticking up in all directions; June muttered about hedgehogs as she turned on the sink and doused her head. She toweled her hair to remove the access water, grumbling at the cold water with which she'd soaked her head, and glared at herself in the mirror when she pulled the towel away. June hated when her hair was difficult like this, especially in the morning, but never had the heart to do anything about it. It was a part of her routine -much like picking her clothes at random- and she was too used to the unruly black locks to cut it.

Suddenly, the clock June stashed in the medicine cabinet went off, it's tinny alarm blaring and reverberating off the thin metal, and June growled as she reached in and shut off the noise. Her hair would dry itself. June left the bathroom with her hair still damp, grabbing her bag from beside the door, and took the stairs two at a time until she could smell breakfast again. Was she hallucinating?

June poked her head into the dining room, expecting nothing, but was pleasantly surprised to find that a plate of very tasty-looking breakfast was sitting on the table. Looking around, June wondered briefly where it had come from before she tucked in at the table and stopped caring. She was starving from last night and wasn't one to look the gift horse in the mouth when it came to food. At the worst, her mother had made it and June was eating something meant for her father, so she took the risk and picked up the fork as her stomach gurgled.

Something whistled through the air and June ducked quickly.

"That is mine, carnivore." Hibari growled, his tonfa still on the table where he had landed his blow, and June's stomach shriveled at his dark expression. Apparently, no one stole his food.

"Aiyah!" June jumped, falling out of the chair and nearly knocking herself unconscious on the corner of the table. It passed her, millimeters from her face, and June barely managed to catch herself before she smashed her brains out on the hardwood floor. "Make noise when you move!" Hibari didn't respond, shooting her a menacing look, and he took her place before the plate without a word. He guarded his food like a hungry dog, keeping vicious dark eyes on her if she should try anything funny, and June got up slowly to avoid provoking another attack.

"Carnivore," Hibari began, pausing for another bite, and June sighed as she threw a few slices of bread into the toaster.

"Let me guess. You should bite me to death for that?" She suggested, rubbing the bridge of her nose and feeling a headache build already.

"Wrap your arms before you go outside." Hibari ordered, catching June off-guard. She stopped rubbing, looking up at the android tiredly, but only saw his back. "You bruise easily." June jerked back at the statement, affronted by the suggestion, and looked down at her exposed forearms to spot the dark bruises forming on her skin. They were distinct lines, littered all over without a pattern, and obviously the results of a harsh fight. She couldn't explain them away to anyone, not even with the excuse of her karate practice; they were too forceful and obviously defensive.

Breathing out heavily through her nose, June abandoned her post and left her toast behind as she scoured her house for something to cover her arms with, settling for an equally grey hoodie with a Mukuro quote on the back. It had been a gift -one that had actually surprised her- from her father last summer when she placed first at a community karate tournament. How he knew what she liked, she assumed was her mother's work, but she never figured out how he knew that Mukuro was one of her favourite characters. She chocked it up to witchcraft and, returning to the kitchen, smiled at the quote on her back.

"'_Within the truth hides the lie... within the __**lie **__hides the truth_.'" Normally June didn't get philosophical, but-

"Carnivore, I should bite you to death for quoting **that thing** in my presence." Hibari said suddenly, his dark eyes burning into hers as she returned. Her toast, she saw, had already popped and been buttered:

"Hey! That's **my** breakfast!"

"Not anymore." Hibari said shortly, biting into one piece of toast with a smirk. Hibird chirped loudly, proceeding to sing the school anthem as they stood in silence, and June's belly groaned; now she needed to make **more** toast! Or at least she would have, if a casual flick of Hibari's wrist hadn't sent the plate sliding across the table in her general direction. The remaining slice of toast gleamed in the kitchen lights temptingly, sitting innocently on the plate, but June waited for the trap to make itself clear. Hibari glanced at her, "Eat," then away. "and then **burn **that **thing** you're wearing."

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June rejoiced at the sight of her school, a normal building in a normal day, and adjusted her bag to sit more comfortably on her shoulder. Her laptop weighed heavily on her shoulder, the promise of finding the proper site filling her ears, as she jogged into the building.

"JUNE!" A group cy filled her ears as she smoothed out her clothes, drawing out a manic grin when she turned and saw her favourite trio approaching from the inner lobby of the school. "GOOD MORNING!" Had June been a little better rested and well-fed, she might have added 'TO THE EXTREME!' onto the end of their greeting.

"Morning, boys and goyles," She said, tipping an imaginary hat brim to them. "Ready for-"

"Don't even **try** to talk classes!" Dana hissed, her bright eyes and pale hair dominating June's vision as she came smotheringly close and draped herself obnoxiously over June's shoulders. "How is he? As cool as he is '_en papier_'?"

"Come on, J!" Said Chloe imploringly, tugging Dana off the Chinese girl and letting her have her space. "Don't hold out on us, girl. How was he?"

"Alright," June sighed, "He's the real deal. Bird, tonfa, temper. He's legit' shit, girls."

"Oh, don't mind me!" Alex said loudly, throwing an arm over his eyes and sighing dramatically. "I was considering a sex change anyways!" June laughed at the tall lanky teen's antics, letting Dana and Chloe crowd close again as they laughed at his expense, but the trio looked at June when her stomach let loose a loud growl. Alex peeked at her curiously.

"No breakfast?" He asked skeptically. "I thought-" "I always make breakfast?" June finished, earning a nod. "I did. I made two pieces of toast, but when I left to grab my hoodie, he struck like a hungry predator and ate half my toast." June wilted disappointedly as her friends laughed at her, slapping their thighs and hooting with laughter at her announcement. "Don't laugh! I only got one piece of the breakfast I slaved to make before I had to leave! He even had his own full breakfast! It wasn't fair!"

"How did you get **that** piece?" Alex asked, brushing brown hair from equally brown eyes. "You look relatively alive."

'_Relatively?_' June thought, wondering what 'relatively alive looked like'. "He gave it to me."

Alex's eyebrows rose: "Oh?"

June nodded. "And then he told me to burn my sweater." She flashed the back. "It's Mukuro." She flushed when they laughed again, but the bell for classes rung before she could yell at them. "Shit! Gotta go, guys! Spacek will kill me if I'm late for English again! Bye!" Dana, Alex, and Chloe waved, separating accordingly as they too rushed to class and laughed their ways out of earshot.

June pounded linoleum to make it to her first period classroom, which was as far as possible from the front doors, and she ran into her least favourite person on the way there.

Toby Carideo.

She had met him in the summer before high school while at ComicCon; she had been Fran, happy for the excuse to dye her hair an unconventional colour, and met a Belphegor there without meaning to. He had been that Belphegor and, while he had looked the part, he also acted the part. The rudeness, the 'princely' manner; they had cosplayed well together, judging from the amount of photos taken, but June couldn't stand him once the costumes were off and they met two months later. He was supposedly from Italy, but he looked like the most American thing you could get. Blond hair, blue eyes, slightly tanned, tallish, slender; what was worse, he recognized June even from under all the cosplay. He addressed her like so:

"_Oh... you were my uncute Froggy in San Fran._" and June hardly missed a beat before she shot back "_And you were my fake prince senpai who's apparently Italian. I knew I smelt a lie there._" This evolved into: "_Well, I __**am**__ Italian._" "_Whatever you say, fake Italian._" "_My heritage is not fake._" "_I bet it's faker than those knives you carried in San Fran._" "_Nice. 'Faker' isn't even a real word._" "_It's more real than your Italian heritage._" And, from that point, mutual dislike had festered between them.

"Lee."

"Fake Italian." June ignored the short glare stabbing into her back. "Can I help you?"

"I heard about your aunt," June frowned and glanced at him. "mother mentioned it." The way Toby said 'mother', which was so very similar to the way June addressed her 'father', made June hold her tongue to allow him to speak. "Said I should console you... that it was befitting an Italian gentleman."

"'Console' me?" June scoffed, adjusting her bag and hood defensively. "For what?" She didn't like the wording; 'console', what did he mean by 'console'? Her aunt had gone into labour last night, not brain surgery, and her father would have told her if something had gone wrong. June brushed Toby aside, picking up her pace, and left the 'Italian' behind. "Leave me alone, fake Italian!" June stuck her tongue out at him immaturely. "I don't wanna talk to you!"

"A Froggy should listen to her senpai!" Replied Toby, the small nerdy cry nearly tripping her up. He had meshed well with the loftier cliques at school, so his unexplained love of manga always threw June a little. "Or at least her teacher!" June didn't pay him any more attention, jamming herself into her classroom as the anthem came on, and blocking everyone out until she took her seat.

'_Deep breaths, June,_' June thought, taking her seat quietly and pulling out her laptop. '_it's school. Roundhouse kicking someone in the face will get you expelled._' She calmed the fiery annoyance burning in her gut and began taking the note her towering English teacher had put up on the overhead.

However, by the time lunch came around, a roundhouse kick is what June knew several people really needed.

"Now, June," Alex said quietly as they left math and wandered into a less crowded hall. "I have to ask, where do you keep him? You can't exactly hide a thing like that under your be- eh- eh-" When Alex began stammering, June frowned, looking up from the text she was sending Chloe in time to see the shirt-covered chest she was walking into and stop. The white expanse of dress shirt made her heart sink and, as she took a step back and looked up, she realized why; Hibari was standing in the science hall, looking unimpressed.

**********~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**  
**************~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**


	7. Don't Tease My Carnivore Again

******************~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
**CHAPTER 7  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June froze. "Carnivore," Hibari grunted, crossing his arms over his chest. "your herbivore parents annoy me."

"What?" She squawked, taken aback by the android's appearance in the middle of her school day. "How did you even get here?" She looked around anxiously, hoping no one could recognise him, and looked back, lowering her voice. "**Why** are you here?"

"Doesn't matter." Suddenly, June was tossed over someone's shoulder like a sack of potatoes and, without further ado, carried back down the hallway the way he had come. She passed a few students who merely shook their heads and laughed, thinking it was one of her usual antics, and a few teachers did the same, but nearer to the door a teacher stopped them.

"You can-nnnnn..." If she had been standing upright, June might have laughed at the run-on 'n' sound that came from the startled teacher's lips when Hibari glared at him and kept walking, but she wasn't. So she started to kick and thrash.

"WOULD YOU PUT ME DOWN?" She cried, aiming for his ear. "YOU DIDN'T TEAR OFF MY LEGS, YOU KNOW! I **CAN** WALK!"

"Debatable." June stiffened at the only voice she didn't want to hear right now, jerking violently and trying to turn around but only getting her hood to cover her head fully. "Stylish transportation as always, I see."

"Shut up, fake Italian!" June growled, still kicking. She tapped the android, "Move closer so that I can kick him or something! Help me out here." And those bossy remarks earned her an up-close and personal meeting with the floor; he dropped her like a used hooker. "OW! That hurt!"

"Good." June made a small sad sound as she got to her feet, hoping and praying to all kinds of different gods that her laptop hadn't been damaged by her unprecedented fall. "Stop whining and get up. Your parents are home and being noisy. They annoy me."

"So, Lee," Toby said casually, plastering on a pleasant smile. "who's your friend? He looks familiar..."

"He's my black lesbian lover." June said monotonously, dusting off her Mukuro sweater with pride. "Who's **actually **Italian. But none of that is your business, fake Italian, so butt out and screw off." She stuck her tongue out again, pulling down one eyelid to make a mocking face, and scowled.

"So mature." Toby rolled his eyes.

"Suck it." June straightened, even checking her laptop anxiously, and jerked her head toward the street. "We should go, right. I can see the order in your eyes already." Hibari's dark eyebrows twitched, as if he had considered scowling and dismissed the idea, and they hurried toward the street in a brisk walk.

"Hold on," Toby intercepted Hibari, much to June's distaste, and scrutinized him slightly. "you seem familiar. Have we met before?"

"No." Hibari said evenly, staring at him without feeling.

"How do you two know each other?" June stared at the 'Italian' boy, bewildered by the sudden game of twenty questions he wanted to play with the short-tempered android prefect and shocked by how forthcoming -though still acidic and unpleasant- Hibari was.

"We live in the same house." Hibari responded sourly, his eyes narrowing and making Toby sweat a little. "it's unavoidable that she and I would know each other, considering those circumstances, don't you agree?"

June stiffened at the questionable information. "He's family, fake Italian, from my aunt's side." She lied, grateful they were both Asian and black-haired. "He came to see her, but she's in the hospital so my parents had him bunk at our house until she's out."

"Lee, I have to tell you-" "We should go, shouldn't we." Hibari said suddenly, looking down at June with glittering dark eyes. It was not a question; he meant '_We are leaving, carnivore_.' and June knew it. His gaze burned hers, shocking her silent, and one raised eyebrow coaxed a noncommittal 'yeah' from her before he turned and retraced his steps back into the school. As they left the other teen outside -June heard him huff in annoyance, but not follow them-, she had the sinking feeling Toby would cause more trouble than good and hurriedly led Hibari to the most secluded place she could think of; backstage of the auditorium.

"What are you doing?" June hissed, slumping back into a shadowy inlet and rubbing he temples. "I'm at school! What did you do to my parents?!"

"They returned a few hours after you left." Hibari told her dangerously, giving her a sharp smack when she wasn't looking. "Watch your mouth, carnivore." June covered the top of her stinking head, blinking back tears, and ground her teeth together harshly to hold back a snarky remark that would only dig her grave deeper. Hibari turned, "Who are you?"

June jumped when Hibari's voice rose slightly, carrying to the figure standing in their open doorway. There were a few kids settled in the far corner, but June didn't care about them; they were probably high out of their minds anyways. That's why most people came here.

"June?" Called the figure, wandering in a few steps.

"Alex!" Hurriedly wiping her face, June moved into the android's line of sight and held up her hands peacefully. "This is Alex, a friend of mine. He was on the phone when you woke up, remember?"

Hibari grunted, the glinting weapon disappearing into his sleeve again, "Herbivore," and sat down without any introduction. He stared at June expectantly, scowling. "Carnivore, I'm hungry."

"I don't have any food right now," June sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I barely had breakfast!"

"I gave you half."

"Here!" Suddenly, Alex produced a ziplock bag from his backpack, one that bulged oddly in the backlight, and he tossed it lightly to the android.

"What are these, herbivore?" Hibari asked, eying the bag dubiously.

"Teddy Grahams!" Alex grinned, approaching slowly as if Hibari would spook and take off running. Much to June's surprise, he hadn't been attacked yet and Hibari didn't **look** violent enough to do so... yet. "The chocolate chip kind. Try one; they're fantastic!" Hibari was silent for a while, making June really nervous, but suddenly the bag was opened and the android tossed an unsuspecting Teddy Graham into the cavern of his mouth.

Chew once.

Twice.

Swallow.

"Well done, herbivore." Hibari muttered, digging into the little bear-shaped cookies with more enthusiasm. He traded the 'one-bear-at-a-time' method for twos and threes at a time, slowly eating his way through the bag as the two teens watched.

"How did you **do** that?" June asked, her voice hushed reverently as she clung to Alex's arm. "Whenever I do anything, he **hits** me! Why are **you **unscathed?"

Alex shrugged and smiled: "It's a gift. How do you think we became friends?" June groaned at his response and pushed his shoulder, complaining that he was too mean to her and bemoaning how she could have so cruel of a- Suddenly, June's mouth was full of Teddy Grahams and there was a pale hand covering her mouth.

"Enough." Hiabri growled dangerously, making a few of the weed-stoked teens across the stage look up from themselves. He glanced at them, his eyes guarded and hidden in the dim lights of the backstage. "Tease my carnivore again, you herbivore, and I'll bite you to death." He told Alex, flashing the end of a tonfa that was hidden in the sleeve of his jacket. "And **you**, chew."

June jumped when the android finally addressed her and began working her jaw vigorously. The Teddy Grahams tasted great, especially on her less-than-filled stomach, and soon her mouth was covered but empty. "Good." She let her shoulders drop, feeling like a puppy that Hibari was training with all the blows and food rewards, and sighed against his hand. He bumped her face, tilting her head back, and stared coolly at her. "Take them."

'_What the hell is he talking about?_' June wondered, but then something bumped her hands and she took hold of the plastic. Hibari's hand came away and she looked down at the half-full bag of Teddy Grahams in her hand quizzically. The had obviously been eaten slightly, but the majority of the bear-shaped biscuits were still there and staring up at her blindly, their little cookie smiles eternally fixed on their faces.

"For me?" June asked, dumbstruck by the uncharacteristic gesture from the android.

"Yes." Hibari met her eyes levelly, unflinching in the face of her awe, and glared at Alex when he chuckled behind his hands. "Did you say something, herbivore?"

"No," Alex smiled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Nothing." His smile, wide and toothy, seemed to hint that he knew something she didn't, which made June a little edgy. He watched them, his eyebrows rising, and just kept smiling.

"What are you smiling at?" June demanded, quickly stuffing the bag in her pocket and smoothing her clothes nervously. The hoodie sleeve caught on a fold and, when she moved, she bared her right forearm and all its bruises. Alex's smile dropped.

"Not those." Alex gasped, "Jesus, June, what happened?" He took hold of one hand, pushing the sleeve higher, and he made a face at an especially dark bruise from the other day. "Aren't you in pain? Are there **more** of these things?"

**********~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**  
**************~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**


	8. You Cannot Just Walk All Over Me

******************~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
**CHAPTER 8  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June stiffened, trying to pull out a mega-watt smile, but didn't know how to respond to Alex's horrified question.

"Um..." "You know what?" Alex sighed, throwing an arm around her shoulders. "I don't want to know what kinds of kinky were going on last night. I'll let you keep that to yourselves."

"What?!" June shrieked, bristling and shoving him away as he began to laugh. "ALEX! IT WASN'T-"

"Herbivore," Hibari growled, his tonfa out and at the ready. "I'll bite you to death for that." June paled, seeing the dim backstage lights glittering against the pitch-black of his eyes and knowing that each sparkle meant agonizing pain in her future, and she grabbed Alex by the front of his shirt.

"Let's get out of here!" She suggested, dragging him along behind her as she burst into a frantic run for the open door. Alex followed, soon catching up enough to drag her through the doorway, and he slammed the door behind them. June called over her shoulder: "I'll find you after class!" but she doubted Hibari would care.

He was probably going to hunt them down and main them first.

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June was sorely surprised to find that, despite Alex's comment, she had not died a tonfa-caused death. She went through the bit of lunch that was left alternating between hiding and trying to strangle Alex for bringing the wrath of a school prefect upon them, but then the bell for classes rang.

Her next classes seemed to fly by, filled with the ever-present terror of Hibari bursting into the room with her death on the tips of his tonfa, but she went the rest of her day without another encounter with the android. By the end of the day, June almost wished she **had** been bitten to death; at least she would know where the hell he was!

"June!" Alex clapped a hand down on her shoulder suddenly as she emerged from her history room and scanned the crowds. She winced, shrugging out from under the touch, and Alex laughed, "Looking for someone?"

"He hasn't attacked me yet." June told Alex seriously, following him down the hall and continuing her visual search. She dismissed the faces she saw -everyone was as they should be- and frowned deeper when Hibari's scowl did not jump out at her. "I assumed that being here at lunch would mean he would stay... but I haven't seen him."

"Maybe he went back to your house." Alex suggested, shrugging,

"..." June nodded faintly, sighing through her nose deeply, and quickly dropped her extra textbooks into her locker. She had little homework, thanks to a substitute teacher, and that meant that her bag was much lighter. She had turned up a page for Ota-Co. during her last class, skimming the customer service page for contact information or return policies, but all she found was a mailing address that was labelled 'Letter-post only' in thick bold font. Hopefully, the manual that had come with Hibari would give her more to go on; she doubted it would at this point but, as they say, hope is the last thing you lose. "I'm going to keep looking, okay?" She decided, ignoring Alex as he whined and clung to her for a few minutes. "I can't exactly go hope and leave that guy alone here."

Alex, thankfully, let go of her and let her continue her search with a promise to come and visit her as soon as possible. Which could be at any time, considering Alex's priorities were always kind of unorthodox, but June didn't argue. She had to find her housemate!

"Hibari?" She called, hurrying around and search the little nooks and crannies her school had to offer. The classrooms were clear, as were the main halls; hurrying up the stairs, June flung open the rooftop door and searched the flat surface for any sign of the android. "HIBARI?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?" June jumped, whirling in preparation for an attack, but standing behind her was only the janitor. He looked **very** unhappy, and soon June was out on her butt and on her way home. Apparently her school janitor had been hired not only to clean, but to hoist teens up by their collars and chuck them off school property. Rubbing her sore back, June grumbled under her breath and approached her front door slowly; she had time to walk instead of run, and she would sort out this mess in due time.

She reached for the handle, breathing sigh of relief as she put the key in the lock and turned the knob, opening the-

"ONE SIDE!" Blurted her father loudly, barreling past her and nearly knocking is daughter head over heels into the bushes. June teetered on her heels, arms flailing, but caught her balance in time to step out of her mother's way.

"Mom?!" June yelped, staring in shock as the couple loaded bags into their car. "DAD?! What's going on?"

"Nothing." June's mother said quickly, scurrying back and forth with bags in her hands, as she and June's father loaded the car. She and her husband barely spared June a glance as they loaded their luggage into the car.

"'Nothing'?" June gaped, hurrying up to her mother in the passenger seat. "What's all this then? Where are you going?!"

"Oh." June's mother smiled tensely, "You aunt needs us around until she recovers, June. We're going to stay with her for a few weeks until she can be on her own again."

"But what about-" "And you can't be missing school, so we decided you could handle yourself for a while."

"But mom, my-" "No 'buts', _Li __Yuè_." June stiffened as her father cut her off, making her temper rear its head. She'd had enough of being trampled today; she was not a doormat! "Your aunt needs us immediately. We'll call when we're there to check up on things every so often, and you'll have everything you need."

"Dad!" June blurted angrily, "What about my tournament? You said you'd come for once!"

Unfortunately for June, her question was not well-received.

"_Li __Yuè_," Her father rumbled, "your aunt had some complications with her pregnancy, and you're worried about karate? How selfish..." His eyes were the last straw -cutting into June coldly- and June gave up on him. She turned on her heels, ignoring her parents' cries for her to stop, and ran into her house without looking back. She growled, storming through the front hall and kicking off her shoes in a random direction, and tossed herself gracelessly on to the couch.

With no other option, June threw her arm over her eyes and let out a wordless, angry scream.

"What is the meaning of this, carnivore?" Hibari asked suddenly, his voice as smooth and as calm as the road to Hell. "Why are you screaming?"

"There is no meaning." June said coolly, her throat tight. "My parents are just going to stay with my aunt for a few weeks." She swallowed. "They'll probably miss my tournament next month -which they've known about for about a year- just because they've got an excuse."

"'Tournament'?"

"'Tournament'?" June was surprised by the curious lilt in Hibari's voice now, replacing drowsiness cautiously as the android watched her. "What kind?"

"Karate," June responded quickly, sitting up a little more. "in the provincial level. It's not too far from here, but its going to be **damn** hard to get there if my parents are out of town." She couldn't stop the bitterness from slipping into her voice a little and, when she heard it out loud, she cringed. "But my aunt needs them, so it'll work out eventually."

"..." Hibari looked down at her strangely, his dark eyes alive with something June didn't like, and he looked away when she frowned at him.

"What?" June asked accusingly, sitting up ramrod straight and frowning at him.

"I'm taking the master bedroom." Hibari said smoothly, sounding a bit pleased with the development of having her parents gone, and he turned on his heel to leave. "Call me when dinner is ready."

June stood. "You can't just have my parents' room because they're gone!" However, Hibari didn't stop and he continued down the hall until her parents room was in sight, with her close on his heels. "Hey!" She kept yelling, but he didn't seem to hear her. "I said no! You can't have their room, Hibari!" And he, without responding to her, kept walking.

He took hold of the doorknob nonchalantly, as if he'd owned the room for years already, and that was the last straw for June. She pressed herself between him and the door, grabbing his hand to stop the knob from turning, and she stared up at him rebelliously.

"I said **no**!" She shouted, right in his face, and she watched in a cold sweat as his eyes narrowed. "This is my parents' room, and you **will not** be 'taking' anything! This is **my** house, with **my** rules, and you can't just walk all over me!"

"Pardon?" Hibari said lowly, looking deadly serious.

"You heard me!" June cried, refusing to budge. She knew, in the back of her mind, that opposing him so obviously was only going to end in a fight that she would likely lose, but she wanted control of something -anything- so badly that she was willing to fight it out with him. "Come at me, bro, and I'll make this room worth your freaking while!"

"Oh really?" Hibari's voice dared her to even breathe, and June took the challenge.

"Really really, you puffed-up prefect." June straightened her shoulders, trying to look as threatening as she could, and pried his fingers from around the doorknob one by one. "Now **go**." '_I sound like I'm disciplining a puppy..._' June thought in the back of her mind. '_a sick, twisted, blood-thirsty puppy._' And Hibari looked back at her, his dark eyes blank beneath the overhanging eyebrows, and for a moment June planned out her will.

"Alright." He said quietly, his eyes flashing as she watched. "Fine." He stepped back abruptly, where their chests had been touching turning into a pitfall suddenly, and his hand was gone from under hers. She stumbled forward a step and couldn't contain a gasp. Hibari's hands were up near his eyes in an aggressive display of submission, and June's insides quivered at the anger hidden behind the glint of his eyes. "I'll be upstairs."

And with that he was gone.

June waited for a moment, her heart suddenly deafening her as it raced in her ears, and then she let her knees cave. She sat there on the floor again, feeling as if she'd done this before, and she chuffed in annoyance at the thought that he was intimidating her too often.

"I'm not scared of a robot." June said under her breath, getting to her feet and discreetly checking the hall for him. "I just... needed to sit down. Yeah... that's it."

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June tried to ignore the eyes on the back of her head by pushing herself to go a bit faster, but she couldn't shake it at all. She'd trekked through the woods past the high school, seriously considered swimming up river, and broken a lot of the boards that had been left over from Hibari's crate-splosion a few days ago. She had been vaulting low fences and dodging imaginary attacks, but now she just needed a good night's sleep and a cup of tea.

'_Is that so much to ask?_' June wondered, '_A little private time for a teenage girl?_'

"Hurry up, carnivore. It's getting dark." Apparently, for June, it was. "I'm sick of watching you walk around and hop over things."

"Al**right**!" June cried, looking over her shoulder at him unpleasantly. "Let's go then; get running. I'll race you back." She started off her trot into a quick jog, but she gaped as Hibari passed her in a sprint and left her behind. "HEY!"

"YOU SAID TO GET RUNNING." Hibari shout back, rounding the next corner, and June grinned as she too broke into a sprint and aimed for home. She followed him closely, able to see him about thirty feet ahead of her, but he was always pulling ahead before she could catch up to him and get closer to the lead. "Now run, carnivore. Let's see what the hunter can do, hm?"

He was baiting her! June snarled to herself and forced a bit more energy into going faster; she couldn't let that smug punk with the robotic insides beat her at her own challenge. She could feel her body breaking as she crossed her threshold, the well-sed muscles of her calves and thighs praying for relief, and groaned as she had to push herself even more.

"I won't let him win." June gasped, "I **won't** let him win." She pumped her arms hard, trying to get as much momentum in her favour as possible, and used the chant to distract herself from the way her body was punishing her for going too far. "He **will not** win this."

But unfortunately, as June turned her final corner, she saw that he had.

And that someone had parked a rusty old Suzuki Carry outside her house.

"HEY!" June shouted, trying to catch her breath and shout authoritatively without any success. It came out as more of a hoarse croak than she wanted, but she took it. "MOVE YOUR TRUCK!" She couldn't run anymore; she settled for a stagger as she approached her house, her newest housemate, and the man standing outside her house. "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

"Oh!" June jumped at the cheerful voice that greeted her around her android's silhouette. "It's you! Or one of you! It's so good to see you again, Kyoya!"

Suddenly, as June approached the android's shoulder and tried to glimpse the speaker, Hibari grabbed her by the upper arm and tossed her carelessly in front of him, dodging to the side as she flew through the air. JUne cried out wordlessly, her arms wheeling to try to catch herself on something, but it turns out someone caught her instead.

"Kyoya!" He objected, shifting the catch into more of a bridal hold before he set June on her feet. "You can't just throw me people! As mean as you are, you can't toss this girl around like a ball!"

"Fight me." Hibari said bitingly, drawing his tonfa out under a street light that made them gleam like knives. "I have the **severe **urge to bite you to death, you stupid horse." June froze beside the other man, her breath caught in a trap, and stared at him in awe. The lamp a ways away only gave her so much detail, but she could tell who it was once she added everything together. She was standing beside Dino Cavallone -or an exact replica, like Hibari- and in the direct line of Hibari's fire.

Oh shit.

"Guys, what if my neighbours see you?!" June cried, trying not to yell out and draw any more attention to them. If anyone looked outside right then, they would probably call the police and have all three of them arrested. June's parents would be called back, Hibari would be exposed and shipped return-post to wherever he came from, and everyone would be regally bent over Life's table and shagged. "Please! At least bite him to death in the house, Hibari!" June began begging; she'd stooped so low. "Remember what I said about the police, Hibari? 'You can't bite them'. Remember that? Please, don't do this outside!"

Unfortunately, Hibari came rocketing at them with his weapons at the ready.

But more fortunately, Dino wrapped an arm around her waist and spun on his heel, darting toward her front door. He pushed her against it and she struggled for her keys, hearing Hibari's footsteps catching up to them, and she shrieked with delight as the door opened.

**********~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**  
**************~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish.~**


	9. Why do I have to sign for 'model 7?

**~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish. Check it out (if you haven't already!~  
~The 'Yamamoto' manual I'm using is my own (and will be posted soon).~****  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
****CHAPTER9  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

"...and then he came outside waving what looked like a table leg!" Dino laughed, leaning back into the arm-chair comfortably. "He was yelling and everything! I thought he was going to assault me for real!"

"You **did** plastic wrap his car shut and fill it full of pond water." June shot back sourly. "With the frogs and weeds and everything. I pity your last employer..." June tilted her head to one side, refolding the towel, and rested the bag of peas back on to her jaw.

"He started it." Dino pouted, but June shot him a moody stare and looked away. "What?"

"You going to explain why you're here or just keep making good conversation?" June asked. "Not that the latter isn't nice, but it's later than decent to have you here." Her eyes darted to Hibari, who was perched gracefully on the far arm of the couch, and she tried to make Dino understand it without saying it. '_Hibari won't like it._' She thought determinedly, making her eyes flick back and forth, and finally Dino's eyes lit up.

"Oh..." He said, nodding and glancing at the dark-haired android. "right. I forgot how touchy he is. It's been years since I've actually been around someone like me." Dino smiled so sincerely that, for a moment, June could feel his loneliness- however, her rational mind told her that he was an android. Androids don't get lonely.

"Right." She said awkwardly, clicking her tongue.

"I'm working for a company now, delivering merchandise to customers and stuff like that. Used to collect money and returns, but I got promoted." Dino told her simply, resting his chin in his hand. He assured her: "It's more satisfying than lugging inventory for a corner store, for the most part, and I don't need to worry about my coworkers finding out about me. They hired me because I'm..." June watched him search for the right word and decided to help.

"-electronic?" She suggested. "A robot."

"I prefer technologically enhanced." Dino laughed uncomfortably. He cleared his throat and jerked a thumb back over his shoulder, toward the front door. "But anyways, that's why I'm here." He smiled brightly and pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket, and then he read her the invoice. "'Lee, June. 221 13th Street, blah blah blah... Aha! Purchased: two in-character replica interactive androids, brand KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN- 10th Vongola series, models 3 and 7.'"

"WHAT?" June exclaimed, rising from her seat in shock. "IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?!"

"No," Dino said innocently, frowning, "why? Is someone bugging you?" He rose too, reaching for her forearm concernedly, but June pulled away and hurried to the front door. "You alright, June?"

"I don't really know, Dino," June said honestly, cracking the front door and staring that the crates in the back of his truck. "I really don't. But bring them in, I guess. Before my neighbours get all weird about having a truck with boxes here so late at night." She felt so tired suddenly that she leaned on the door frame and rubbed her temples, barely stepping aside to let the blond android out.

She watched him pop his jacket into the truck's cab, open the back of the flatbed, and slowly ease the crates out of it and on to a dolly. First the one, and then the second, and soon they were standing in the living room and mocking her.

"Anything else then?" Dino asked, standing beside her with his hands tucked into the back pockets of his pants. "I can open them up too, if you want. Get you all acquainted," He offered her a clipboard with a pen attached and June barely looked at it before she signed her name fluidly along the dotted line. "especially with model 7."

June shook her head, waving away the idea with her free hand. "No, no. You go on- do... robot things. I've got to get some sleep for tomorrow, even if tomorrow's Friday, and waking up these won't give me that." She looked back at the two crates and rolled her eyes. "But why did I have to sign for 'model 7'?"

"It's... hard to explain." Dino said, tipping his head and giving her a small smile. He waved as he turned away, patting her shoulder, and June nodded in return as she watched him walk out.  
Dino paused in the doorway, shuffling his feet at the door, and turned back around. "Here- you look like you could use a friend. This the number my boss uses to get a hold of me." Dino pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it to June, and winked. "I'm supposed to give them to everyone, but I don't think anyone usually needs my help."

"That's just disturbing." June said tiredly, taking the card and tucking it absentmindedly into her pocket, and Dino laughed out loud as he turned back around. "And so is you laughing..."

"Just keep yourselves out of trouble!" Dino told her, waving as he pulled open his truck door. "All four of you! I don't wanna come and bail you four outta police custody now!" And then he was in his truck and rolling down the road, leaving June and Hibari alone with the crates. June waited until he was out of sight to lock her door, sighing deeply as she turned back around and padded sleepily toward her bedroom, and Hibari watched her carefully.

"Aren't you going to open these... things?" He asked condescendingly, staring at the thinner crate as if it had just crawled out of the sewer, and June shook her head. "Well?"

"Nah..." She told him, yawning, "Too tired. Later," She waved once over her shoulder, not even looking back, and she plodded slowly into her bedroom without his interference. "sleep well."

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

The next morning, June snuffled as sunlight invaded her dreams and woke her, making her groan and roll off the bed. She shrieked sharply, hitting the floor hard, and she leapt up to scramble for her alarm clock. She read the numbers deliriously, rereading them over and over until her tired mind finally processed it.

She was three hours late!

"SHIT!" June struggled out of last night's jogging clothes and into something better, cursing again and again as she pulled on her clothes, and out into the hallway. She managed to push her head through her shirt as she reached the dining room, ignoring the growls of reproach from her housemate, and she stumbled as she passed him.

"Where are you going?"

"I'M LATE FOR SCHOOL!" June screeched, fighting to get her shoes on and remain standing. She had barely woken up, let alone gotten coherent enough to argue with Hibari and have any chance at winning. "THREE HOURS! I GOTTA-"

"You're not late," Hibari said loudly, sipping casually from a mug.

"WHAT?" June cried, her knees practically caving underneath her. She sat on the hallway floor, disheveled and nowhere near presentable, as Hibari sat in the dining room. "SERIOUSLY?! ARE YOU FOR REAL?!"

"Yes, carnviore, now stop your squalling." Hibari said sourly, glaring at her.

"But..." June's voice returned to a normal level as she woke up a little more. She grabbed one side of her head, so confused, and whimpered: "how? It's nearly noon..."

"I can use a phone, carnivore." Hibari deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at her. "They called to inquire about your absence, so I had it validated." He barely glanced at her, more consumed with his steaming breakfast, and June gawked at the food with a rumbling stomach. "Apparently the staff find my impression of your father satisfying." She knew she should go, at least for the second half of the day, but the idea of food and a long weekend was too tempting to pass up.

"Perfect," She nodded, going to hug the android, but she quickly avoided the gesture. He didn't like to be touched. "then I might as well open those." She jerked a thumb toward the crates, which were just visible from the dining room, and saw Hibari stiffen. "Right?"

"Whatever you decide, be quiet." Hibari growled, "If you disturb my breakfast, I'll bite you all to death." June nearly made a snarky comment about how dull of a threat that was, but she managed to contain her sass when he flashed the weapon again and swung it dangerously close to her face. "And that's final. Say nothing. I can see back talk in your eyes, and I **will** hurt you if you speak."

June swallowed, glad she'd kept quiet, and quickly hurried out of the dining room. "Nice to know!" She said, "Thanks for the warning!"

June circled the boxes, searching for a label or details, but found that the stickers weren't on the sides of the box she could see. Frustrated, June ripped open one of the manila envelopes Dino had left her and dumped it into her hand with a sigh. A few papers and what looked like an authentication certificate came sliding out, followed by a shiny soft-cover booklet. It said: '_TAKESHI YAMAMOTO: User Guide & Manual_' on the colourful cover in a big bold font, headlining the picture of the mentioned character in a semi-epic swordsman pose wielding a bat.

"Oh." June didn't know what to say. "Uh... hello?" Hibari had woken without her intervention, meaning she hadn't even cracked open Hibari's manual yet, and she had no clue how to begin.

So she turned to page one.

"'_Congratulations..._'" She muttered, her eyes skimming over the information quickly. Specifications, included items, jobs; getting frustrated, June turned the next page and sighed with relief. "'_To avoid any actions that might give you a concussion, use these methods below and turn on your unit_'..."

"Which herbivore is it?" Hibari asked suddenly, appearing at June's shoulder and snatching away the manual. He looked it over, keeping her page as he browsed the booklet quickly, and dropped it back into her grasp with a sniff.

"Does he pass the inspection, **Dad**, or should I call Dino back to take him?" June asked sarcastically, rolling her eyes in a way that screamed 'Hit me, Hibari!', but the android surprised her again.

"He'll do." Hibari said, leaning his weight back on one leg, and putting his hands on his hips. He exhaled -it was too controlled to be a sigh- and tilted his head back silently as she watched him. The motion was so unbelievably human that June gaped at him until he noticed, resuming his usual stiff posture, and glared. "Do I amuse you, carnivore?"

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
****~The 'Yamamoto' manual I'm using is my own (and will be posted soon).~  
~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish. Check it out (if you haven't already!~**


	10. HIBARI, KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

**~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish!~  
~The 'Yamamoto' manual I'm using is one that I'm making!~  
~The 'Mukuro' manual belongs to !~****  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!  
~****CHAPTER10  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

"Ah, sorry!" June's spell broke and she quickly backed out of range and waving her hands in front of her face. "Just thinking!"

"You do that?" Hibari's tone wasn't malicious or cruel, but it stung. And, before she could reply, he had moved on to the next crate impassively. June scowled, muttering under her breath, and she returned her attention to the page angrily.

"One; play a baseball game, two; speak like Gokudera, three; speak like Reborn." June read, frowning at the page. She considered impersonating Reborn or Gokudera, assuming from the description that it would be quickest, but the fact that Hibari would hear her made her too shy.

"Can you hit the TV?" June asked, peering at the instructions. "Channel 590?"

"If you want it broken," Hibari quipped smartly, and June nearly lost it on him.

"Fine," Snarled June, "I'll do it myself!" and she jammed her finger down on the power button viciously. It sprang to life as she watched, spewing a ridiculous ad about soy milk, and June quickly changed the channel to her father's baseball reruns subscription.

Immediately there was a reaction.

"Oh! I'm missing it!" Cried the android in the box, struggling to get free. "No! Let me oouuutt!" His whine tempted June to just pry off a board or two, but she stuck to the manual and didn't interfere.

"Nope~." June chirped, smiling at the crate. The TV crowd cheered, signalling a home run, and June's eyes widened when the crate shuddered. "Uh..."

Two boards splintered away from the bottom of the crate with a series of harsh 'BANG!'s, making June shriek, and a black-haired head struggled out. With a hole only 12 inches wide, it was slow going, but soon Yamamoto's head and shoulders were wriggling out.

"I'm almost... I just...!" Yamamoto grunted, writhing to get his upper arms through the gap. His elbows weren't helping him any and, with the thinness of the crate, it couldn't have been easy to get into that position in the first place. Finally, after a few more grunts, he looked at June helplessly. "Please?"

"Sorry," June sighed, holding her hands up around her ears. "no can do, pal." She stood firm, even in the face of a puppy-dog pout to melt steel, and eventually the friendly unit returned to his wriggling.

Another home run passed, renewing Yamamoto's resolve, and soon he was belly-crawling like a soldier to maneuver his legs out of the crate.

"**AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!**" "Woohoo~!" He cheered with the crowd, celebrating a game he only saw end, and soon all was quiet. He looked back at June, who was locking at him, and she looked away. "Hi there,"

"Hi..." June said slowly, unsure what to do with the boy sitting cross-legged in front of her TV. "um... so-"

"Shhh!" Yamamoto said suddenly, having started another pay-per-view game, and he was watching the screen very intently. Sighing, June dropped the manual beside him like a reminder note and moved away- on to the next crate, which Hibari was scrutinizing heavily.

"Something wrong, Hibari?" She asked, catching the corner of the pocket in his hands. She tugged once -twice- and frowned at him; he was too busy willing the box to flames with his eyes to care what she was doing. "Can I at least read the manual while you two glare it out?"

"No..." Hibari said quietly, turning his glare from the wood to her. "Don't touch it. Don't read it. Don't open it. Don't even **look** at it."

"Why?" June gasped, unable to prevent her jaw from dropping. And after she'd asked, Hibari fixed her with a long icy look.

"Because I'm going to burn it."

"**WHAT?!**" June jumped, her skin prickling at the firm certainty in his voice. "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" She gripped the edge of the manual with both hands, pulling harder, and Hibari ripped it from her hands sternly, eying her like a misbehaving child. "Come on! Give it to me!" She tried to get between him and the crate, reaching again for the manual he had rolled up in his hands, and he smacked her with it harshly. "OUCH!"

"Behave, carnivore" Hibari ordered, "and get out of my way." He tried to push past her but June just abandoned her attempts for the booklet and threw her arms out beside her to block him. His glare deepened, tinted with anger as she resisted him again, and he let the tonfa up his sleeves fall into view. "**Now.**"

"Like hell I will!" June cried, shaking her head harshly and scowling at him. "You can't burn it like a witch! That's just insanity!"

"I don't care."

"You're in the house!" June panicked, backing up until she was nearly pressed against the crate. "Both of you! You can't light him -or her, I'm **not **sexist!- on fire, especially in my house! Don't you dare! Don't even **think** about it!"

"Too late." Hibari deadpanned as he approached her, wielding his tonfa without hesitation. "I've thought about it long and hard," He dropped the package casually, glancing at it as it fell to the floor, and turned back to her with an intense expression. "and I'm going to burn it until there's **nothing **left."

June opened her mouth to protest again, determined not to let the dark-haired android win their argument, when suddenly the crate burst open from behind. June gasped, feeling the wood splinter out behind her and smack against her harshly, and she felt as if the world moved in slow motion. She turned, determined to tell the new unit off, and shrieked when she saw a hand puncture the boards and clutch her shoulder tightly.

June froze: "OHMIGOD!" She shrieked suddenly, leaping away from the grip of the android's hand. "HIBARI, **KILL IT!** KILL IT WITH FIRE!" With her eyes fixed on the arm appearing from the hole, June didn't really pay attention to what she was doing.

"Kufufufufu~... you look **cozy**, Kyoya-kun."

The laughter that trickled out of the crate made every hair on June's body stand on end like a jolt of electricity and she gasped. It couldn't possibly be who she thought it was in that crate; not if she wanted her house to survive, that is! "Silence," Hibari rumbled near June's ear and she squeaked, turning to come nose to nose with the android and his unimpressed scowl. He glanced at her, one eyebrow raising minutely, and murmured, "Let go of me, carnivore."

June suddenly realized what a fool she was making of herself and flushed. She let go of Hibari's arm, quickly separating their bodies, and scrabbled for some explanation for her less-than-carnivorous behaviour; she settled with red-faced silence when nothing came and shot a glower at the crate.

"Ooo~, that face is sca~ry~." Came a mockingly sing-song reply, which made June grind her teeth a little, and Hibari stepped forward into the offensive. "I'm shaking~."

"Shut up." June and Hibari said together, although only June was surprised by their synchronization. Hibari didn't even acknowledge her as he continued, taking another intimidating step toward the crate. "I'm going to bite you to death. Right here, right now."

"I'm waiting, Kyoya-kun." June could hear the smirk in Mukuro's velvety voice as he spoke, even though she couldn't see his face.

"Come out of that crate and fight me," Hibari demanded, scowling.

"Well," Mukuro drawled, rustling softly and retracting his arm. "if I must, I must."

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
****~The 'Hibari' manual belongs to Cloverfish!~  
~The 'Mukuro' manual belongs to !~  
~The 'Yamamoto' manual I'm using is one that I'm making!~**


	11. Doe-mo are-e-gateau! What did you say?

**~The 'Hibari' and 'Mukuro' manuals belong to Cloverfish and , respectively. Check 'em out!~  
~The 'Yamamoto' manual, however, does. ;)~  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
****CHAPTER 11  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

With an eerie silence to follow, June barely had a moment to prepare herself for the explosion of wood shrapnel that had been the box that came next. June shrieked, throwing her arms up to protect her face, and she threw the first thing she'd grabbed in front of her to defend herself. She winced as something scraped along her upper arm, raising a welt or breaking skin, and held her grip firm as her shield took a harsh blow. A chunk of board knocked her legs from beneath her and she fell heavily, but was up and rolling behind the couch for cover quickly.

"Let's play, Kyoya-kun~," Mukuro taunted, making June raise her head and peek over the top of the sofa. Mukuro emerged from the crate like he was the Messiah, his arms at his sides in a 'hug-me' gesture that was all lies. His dark blue hair spiked back in the signature style, the longer locks ruffling in a non-existent wind, and June couldn't help how her jaw dropped as his red and blue eyes swept around the room casually. He caught sight of her, practically cowering behind the furniture and ruffled by the bursting crate, and his smirk grew on one side mockingly before he turned to Hibari with his trident at the ready.

"I'll bite you to death," Hibari growled, diving into the illusionist's space and beginning the attack. They clashed in a flurry of sparks and blows, neither making a decent hit. They parted just as quickly and, to June's surprise, they were grinning like the madmen they were- Mukuro's smile barely flashed teeth, but his eyes glimmered just like Hibari's did.

Both units knew the pleasure of dueling one another -whether by program or memory- and they wouldn't stop until one android tasted blood.

As Mukuro dove forward with his trident's prongs out, June caught the way her house lighting glinted on his red studs and gasped; the collision of forces between the androids was dazzling to watch, violent fireworks exploding to dazzling life between trident and tonfa. Hibari blocked, locking the pitchfork in place as he brought up his leg and aim a swift kick toward his opponent. However, when the foot came close, a beam had blocked its way and Mukuro abandoned the trident to retreat and dive over the prefect's guard for an attack.

Hibari took it to side of the face and, as he turned back to the pineapple-haired android for retaliation, June felt a sudden surge of protective instinct. Hibari's face was red on one cheekbone -he'd taken the blow without flinching back- and it would have been one hit that would bruise any normal man.

She stood: "HEY! YOU CAN'T-" When June's voice had finally started to draw attention from the dueling duo, her doorbell chimed cheerfully and took all power from her. The androids continued to duke it out while she dove for the door.

As she made it to the door, the sounds of the fighting faint but discernibly violent, the doorbell rang again twice; June scowled at the audacity for someone to keep pressing the button like that. Didn't their mother tell them good manners?

When she opened it, she nearly slammed it. "Hello, Toby." She said stonily,

"Hello, June," With a courteous smile plastered on his face, Toby was standing between his parents and pulling his finger away from the button semi-guiltily.

His parents, standing like bookends beside their beloved son, were impeccable as always; his mother was luxuriously decked in well-done cosmetics and glittering earrings, his father was not a hair out of place and trimmed like a new haircut. They seemed so foreign and out of place on her doorstep in their polo shirts and dress pants, and June felt sloppy in her pajamas when she looked at his mother's classy attire.

"Can I help you?" June asked awkwardly, crossing her arms over her chest and rubbing the backs of her arms. "Is there something wrong?"

"No," Toby's mother stepped forward charmingly, her dark eyes big and bright in her child-like face. "but we wanted to check up on you, June. Your father and mother left us to drop in from time to time."

"And make sure you're not doing anything you shouldn't be." His father added softly, raising an eyebrow at her sleep clothes and glancing behind her at a short crashing sound. "What was that?"

"My karate video!" June lied slickly, smiling and tilting her head in a way that had always gotten a reaction from her aunt. "I was just doing my morning practice." She straightened her posture, giving the Italians on her doorstep a precise karate bow, and said, "I give honor to my guests/spectators."

"Doe-mo are-e-gateau!" Said Toby's mother enthusiastically, failing when she tried to replicate the gesture and grinning like a small child. "That was beautiful, June! What did you say?" June let her shoulders drop as she stood up again, feeling a half-smile tug at her cheeks at the older woman's innocent enthusiasm.

"I said 'I give honor to my guests.'" June told her gently, trying not to glance back as something crashed together. She saw the way Toby's father was watching her and felt a sweat break out on her back as she nervously tried to think her way out of this mess. "Could you give me a minute to clean up my equipment mess? Then we can sit down and chat over tea or something," She tried to be as charismatic as she could, keeping the smile and the loose posture under the older man's scrutiny until his wife gave her consent and June took that opportunity to close the door and dive back into the house.

'Shit, shit, shit!' June panicked, running back to her living room to find the two androids still locked in close combat and crate debris everywhere. They were staring each other down from opposite ends of the couch and, raising their weapons slowly, they began to circle like the predators they were.

June saw the board sitting on the floor by her feet and stared at it for a few minutes before her brain clicked and she grabbed it determinedly as she hurried between the launching adversaries. She ducked at the last second, holding the board between the weapons, and flinched as they all caught together with a sickening crunch of splintering wood. When she glanced upwards, the trident's spikes were stuck through the board and Hibari was deterred for the moment.

"Please, Hibari, beat him up in the basement! My neighbors are here!" June yelped quickly when his angry dark eyes turned to her demanding an explanation. "If they see this, we are all in deep shit!" His eyes flickered to Mukuro, though hers did not, and he glanced back the way she'd come before he spoke.

"You owe me, carnivore..."

"Twenty hamburger steaks!" June nodded frantically, rising from her knees unsteadily and letting go of the board. She waited fro Hibari to nod, sweating profusely, and quickly turned to the illusionist android with panic rolling through her. "Please, Mukuro, I'll explain everything later! Just stay in the basement until these people are gone!" Yamamoto had gone somewhere while she'd been at the door, which made her a little anxious, but he'd turned off the TV and he wasn't exactly the character to run around her house smashing things so she would have to be grateful for what she had.

Unfortunately, before Mukuro could actually agree to her terms, June heard the door click open and she squeaked faintly; she shoved at them both toward the back hall and the basement stairs, grinding her teeth with effort until they moved on their own, and sprinted back to collect the crate wood into some sort of order. She had just piled the fragments beside Yamamoto's crate and straightened the coffee table when Toby's father came striding in eying everything critically.

"Hi..." June said awkwardly, unable to explain the mangled piece of board she was clutching in both hands.

******~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**  
**~The 'Yamamoto' manual, however, does. ;)~  
**~The 'Hibari' and 'Mukuro' manuals belong to Cloverfish and , respectively. Check 'em out!~  



	12. YOU DON'T OWN ME, CARNIVORE!

**~The 'Hibari' and 'Mukuro' manuals belong to Cloverfish and Mikichi, respectively. Check 'em out!~  
~The 'Yamamoto' manual, however, does. ;)~  
~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~  
****CHAPTER 12  
****~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

June tried not to look guilty, but it looked really bad without her help; crates, one shattered, and little bits all over the room. It was practically a war zone and, if you didn't know otherwise, it could have easily passed for the end results of a house party.

"What the hell happened here?!" Mr. Carideo demanded, his face flushing red. "It looks like Hiroshima in here!" His eyes traced every surface, examining the bits and pieces she had been unable to sweep under the furniture, and he eventually turned the angry orbs to her when he came full circle in the middle of the room. "I have half a mind to call your father **immediately**!"

"Sir, I-" "And I'll have you ear-deep in trouble before you can blink, _signorina_!"

"SIR!" June raised her voice, determined to spread the smooth balm of her lie out before he could gain any more traction on her and her mess. "I was chopping wood! It's a bit messy! And as you can see, I'm cleaning it up! This is a little unfair!"

"**I **will decide what-" "_Caro_..." Toby's mother interrupted her husband, approaching his side and touching his forearm gently. "she does have a point..." She glanced around the room, raising one well-groomed eyebrow at a few oddly-placed chips, but still smiled at June. "and she **is** cleaning, is she not?" She looked back and forth from June to her husband, her smile loose and polite, until her husband's hackles fell and he smoothed his sleeves bashfully under June's wary eye.

He cleared his throat: "Perhaps... would you be able to demonstrate this, June?" He waved a hand at the mess, at the wood strewn about as neatly as she could, and back at her daringly.

"Leo!" "Vera," The two adults in the room gave each other stern looks, the woman's in June's defence and the man's against the young girl.

"Sure." June said loudly, clenching her teeth and fists tightly to avoid lipping off to the adult she needed to appease. She grabbed one wrist, holding it tightly, and tried her best to smile. "But can I do it outside this time? I just cleaned up..."

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

Outside, June squinted in the sunshine and she rubbed her arms anxiously as she gathered the Carideos onto her porch and lugged the specially-built stand for her karate practices out into the grass. She huffed and chuffed and grunted under their eye, ignoring very ardently all of Toby's offers to help her, and finally had a good bit of crate wood ready for the demonstration.

"Anything else?" Mr. Carideo asked, his wife's 'Leo!' still ringing in June's frustrated ears, and she nodded wordlessly as she resisted chirping 'Yes, Leo~'. He was standing on her porch, looking down on her from right against the railing with his hands clasped behind his back and his shoulders set as straight as a soldier's. He didn't look like a laughing man in a laughing mood, so June managed not to tempt Fate for once and held her tongue.

"The Chinese karate masters of old considered karate to be an extension of their religion. The Okinawan karate master considered it to be a way of life. They said, "_It is, rather, an expression of life lived 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Indeed, the way of karate is a philosophy of life-a rich, rewarding philosophy if carried through, past the boundaries of obvious self-defense techniques, into the realm of mind-searching discipline. Within karate-do is the potential of a new person: a person huge in all the capabilities that will make him respected and confident._" June said clearly, straightening out her posture and holding her head high. "While the study of karate can bring great strength, it literally means "empty hand", which returns to the basic principle of weaponless defence of others and yourself."

Taking a deep breath, June swallowed around her sweaty palms. "Though karate is classified as a martial art and includes attacks, it is not taught as an art of violence. It is, and should always be, strictly for self-defence." She heard Mr. Carideo snort, choosing not to call him out on his rudeness like her teacher had done once to a spectator, and she bowed respectfully to her makeshift audience. "Please allow me to demonstrate my skills pertaining to the breaking of boards, honoured guests," She said smoothly, trying to copy her teacher's velvety introduction and formal speech with relative success.

"Oh yes please!" Mrs. Carideo squealed excitedly, her bright eyes wide and excited as she stared down at June. June met her eyes, unable to resist the smile that grew on her face, but she quickly returned to her task at hand.

Taking a calming breath, June tried to empty her mind and shut out the faint sounds of outside and the world around her. She had done it before, under the guidance of her teacher and the older students present, but she had never done it alone. She knew that failure might bring her a broken hand to show for it and it terrified her to think that one lie might sabotage her chances for the coming tournament. She **had** to break this board; there was no other option.

Opening eyes she hadn't purposefully closed, June focused her eyes on the board, along the grain and in the direct center of the wood. She needed to be exact!

With another shaky breath, June raised her hand high, setting her stance deep like roots and trying to lock herself in place for a forceful chop. She could feel her hand shake in the air, betraying her anxiety, but she swallowed and didn't abandon the ruse she'd committed to; June scowled suddenly and struck at the board, aiming beyond it like she had been taught. She brought her hand down as fast as she could, cutting the air in its way apart, and her empty mind filled suddenly with only that moment.

"KIAI!" June cried loudly, her voice suddenly ripping into the air and tearing at her empty mind to let the world back in. Her chest tightened to let the sound explode from her chest, her heart skipping its next beat as the side of her hand connected, and she felt a zing of fear chill her blood.

Her hand went through, the board splitting in half neatly and both pieces flying in off to the sides as she followed through and let her momentum carry her. Suddenly filled with the enormity of what she'd done, June used the momentum and where the board had rested to vault and flip for her spectators in a more showy display of martial arts. She landed it well, her arms out straight at her sides, and broke into a wide grin for them to see.

"And that," She breathed shakily, "concludes the demonstration!" She carefully tried to measure her breathing, hoping her pulse would drop, and bowed low again.

"_Yī_!" June cried, "_Zhuīqiú wánměi dì xìnggé_! _Yī_! _Zhēnchéng_! _Yī_! _Jiāng jǐn zuìdà de nǔlì, nǐ suǒ zuò de yīqiè_! _Yī_! _Zūnzhòng tārén_! _Yī_! _Fāzhǎn zìwǒ kòngzhì_!" She knew the Carideos wouldn't understand as she rose, feeling a little guilty for heir clueless expressions, but the older woman was quick to ask what she had said with enthusiasm rolling off her in waves. "I said my dojo kun, in Chinese instead of Japanese." June explained, panting, "One, seek perfection of character; one, be sincere; one, put maximum effort into everything you do; one, respect others, and one, develop self-control."

While Toby's mother applauded her skill and dedication, his father stood and watched her carefully as she picked up the pieces of her board and asked, "May I clean up now? I have-"

"June?" Called a voice, "Hey, June?" The girl froze in place, her face draining of all colour, and she turned to see the Yamamoto unit she hadn't accounted for coming out onto the back deck with an easy smile. "Are you- hey!"

"Who are you?" Demanded Toby's father, throwing his shoulders back and chest forward.

"June's-" "Dave, I'm **so **sorry!" June blurted, hurrying forward and catching everyone's attention. "I didn't forget, I swear, I just had to do a thing and then- can you give me a little bit? I'll just throw on some clothes and we can get out of here!"

"Where are you going?" Toby's mother asked the question hanging from her husband's lips pleasantly, smiling at June, and June smiled back.

"Dave and I were just going to hit the trails." She lied, praying that Yamamoto wouldn't blow her cover. "Maybe grab a bite on the way back, nothing major."

"You mean a date?" Grinned the woman, "Go on, then. We won't keep you any longer!" She pushed June toward the sliding door, smiling, and June quickly took her offer as an opportunity to get them all out of the house.

Hibari and Mukuro would be fine while she got out of the Carideos' sight and kept up her act.

Right?

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

When June stumbled back inside, leading the jolly Yamamoto unit clutching her sleeve, she was amazed and horrified to find dead silence filling the house. She couldn't hear any bashing or crashing or thumping anywhere, and the deathly stillness raised every hair on her body.

"Where are they?" She hissed, more to herself than the other unit, but he replied anyways.

"Who? Mukuro and Hibari?" He asked, "Maybe they're taking a nap. To chill themselves out." He smiled at her, making her wonder if he had been serious, but didn't seem to be mocking her so she started to poke her head into the different rooms. Both her and her parents' bedrooms were clear, as were the main rooms and the backyard, which left her with the basement and attic to check.

"Can you check the basement?" June whispered, turning around to face the easy-going unit. "I want to check the attic..."

"Why don't we go together?" Yamamoto suggested, "That way, if they're still fighting, we can separate them more easily."

June couldn't deny that his idea made sense, especially when he was smiling and blinking down at her so innocently, and she huffed once before she nodded and led the android down the steep steps. June cursed immediately when they got to the last step, seeing and hearing nothing, and she heard Yamamoto chuckle as she pushed past him and led him back up.

"What?" She grumbled,

"You're so funny," Yamamoto said, turning dutifully at the last step and following her up again. "You act like they're a burden, but you're actually really worried about them, aren't you?"

"I'm worried about what their fighting will do to my house!" June said stiffly, remembering how much she'd struggled with Hibari in the last three days. "Hibari can take care of himself."

"And Mukuro?"

"That guy..." June began to dispute it as well, but she dwindled off. Could she really say she wasn't worried about what Hibari might do to him? He was her favourite character, and Hibari wasn't exactly known for his gentleness with those weapons of his. "Okay, I'm a bit worried for them. But mostly for my house!" She blushed a little when he laughed at her again.

"Would they be upstairs?" He asked, "Or did they just leave?"

"I'd say 'upstairs' if I have to guess." June murmured, "Hibari's got a bed in there and he can get to the roof from there."

"That'll be it," Yamamoto smiled, his eyes twinkling merrily. "This will be fun..."

"I'll say." June muttered, pulling the ladder down from the ceiling. It was silent above, pitch black, and June tensed at the deafening lack of noise. Had they killed each other?! Were they outside? June cursed as she mounted the steps, searching what little she could see for her units. "HIBARI?" She called, mind blanking. "HIBARI?!"

"Are they-" "HIBARI! ARE YOU UP HERE? IF YOU ARE, SAY SOMETHING!"

"June?" Yamamoto followed her up cautiously, his eyes hard-pressed to adjust their camera filters for the low lighting, but couldn't quite see her. "Is everything okay?" She shushed him intently, listening, and suddenly she disappeared into the box maze without an explanation. "JUNE!"

"You jerk!" June shouted, "You're on the roof, aren't you!"

"I didn't see him there," Mukuro murmured, "but I must commend you on your outfit." June jumped away from the illusionist as he appeared next to her, stumbling over a threat, and she flushed at his compliment. Her black pants and white belts were a leftover from her Mukuro cosplay days, but she had worn them today because she needed pants that looked good to fool the Carideos.

She cursed her lack of proper timing.

"Kufufufu~... I'm flattered," Mukuro said, patting her cheek, and June was grateful she'd left her 'Truth/Lies' sweater at the front door.

"Don't be." Hibari snarled, coming in the attic window with a killing glare. "Carnivore, you can stop your squalling."

"Kufufu~," June quickly got between them, refusing to bend out of Hibari's target area, and she threw her arms out at her sides. "this is unexpected."

"Stand down," June said firmly, her palms open and her stance utterly shielding. In her hurry, she'd forgotten to take a proper karate stance and gotten herself into a tight spot. "he's down. Just... let him live for five minutes while I show him around! Then he knows where to haul his carcass afterwards!"

"Harsh," Yamamoto whistled, "not even a vote of confidence for the new guy...  
He laughed shortly, making June scowl, and he smiled at her understandingly. "Sorry, June... shutting up."

"It's fine, it's fine..." June said, waving his apology away casually. "I'm tense and it makes me touchy."

"Poor thing," Mukuro said teasingly, "dealing with that ruffian for so-" Suddenly, as June felt his hands descend upon his shoulders, her knees took a hit and caved under her weight. Hibari dove in swiftly, coming up under Mukuro's dropped guard, and nearly dealt a killing blow to the pale column of Mukuro's throat. The illusionist dodged flawlessly, obviously used to the constant assault, and leapt back to avoid a leg swipe that came after; Hibari stayed, half crouched over her, and June received a shirt glare as he rose to his full height.

"Kufufu~" "Shut up, herbivore," Hibari glowered, "or I'll bite you to death."

"No!" June cried, getting to her feet. "No biting! He lives here too! Go sit on the roof or something!" June waved her hands in his face frantically, hoping to dissuade him from pursuing Mukuro, and she froze as he raised his tonfa up near his head.

He let the weapons slide back into his sleeves and snarled, "Get out of my attic." His order prickled all the way down her spine and June was quick to usher both Mukuro and Yamamoto down into the second floor hall and far away from Hibari.

As the attic stairs slammed upwards and locked, June slumped her shoulders and muttered, "I don't know how he does it..." as she thought about how Tsuna must have had to deal with all of his Guardians; she decided he must have been more skilled than she was, and she told the other androids so plainly. Yamamoto shook his head at her, raising one of her black eyebrows, and she watched Mukuro carefully in case he decided to do something crazy.

"Tsunayoshi is a powerful person," Mukuro said, locking his mismatched eyes with hers. "which is why he is the Decimo"

"-and he's our friend." Yamamoto added, stuffing his hands into his pants pockets. "I don't know about Dera and the others, but he's someone I want to protect always. You don't get many good friends like Tsuna in one lifetime, you know."

He met June's eyes calmly, giving her that same easy smile he'd always worn, and June felt his words hit a little deeper than they should have; her friends were just the same. She wanted to keep them same and sound and tucked away from danger sometimes because they were so precious. Not many people connected with her like Alex and the girls had, and she knew that life would be less wonderful without them in it.

'_Then_ _I hope I get a Tsuna as well,_' June thought, rubbing her temples as a headache built behind her forehead.

"Alright," June said, "let's just get you guys settled and deal with all that later." She straightened, rolling her shoulders back until she heard a 'pop', and she pulled on a weary smile for introductions' sake. "I'm June Lee, I'm almost eighteen, and this is my house."

"Pleasure," Mukuro said offhandedly, distracted by the house itself.

"That's the study, and my parents' room" June continued casually, catching Mukuro's interested glance. "which you cannot have, Mukuro, because they're only gone for a few weeks." She made a point of directing their attention to each room, reluctantly pointing out her own room and refusing to give them a tour. "If you need anything, just ask and try not to break anything."

"Where will we sleep?" Mukuro asked, his face a calm mask and a sly smirk that glinted in his eyes. "In your room?"

"No!" June said firmly, proud to have held back her blush. "Not even close. Never."

"Can I sleep here?" Yamamoto piped up, peeking into the spare room curiously and grinning at her as he poked his head back out to make eye-contact with her. "Is that okay, June?" She peeked in after him, glancing around for anything that would be missed should it get broken or moved, and June was relieved to find nothing of the kind for once. Her mother must have taken her handicraft projects out of there recently while June was at school.

"Sure," June said finally, hearing Mukuro huff behind her faintly. "just don't wreck anything permanent. Mom will freak,"

"You got it!" Yamamoto grinned, throwing an arm around her neck and roping her into a friendly hug. "Thanks, June! You're the best!" June smiled a little too, extracting herself from the hug as their stomachs growled emptily. She sighed, rubbing at her stomach, and turned to ask Mukuro if he wanted to find a room immediately but he was gone. Her heart pounded and she quickly scanned the hall, but Mukuro was nowhere to be seen.

"Shit!"

"He does that..." Yamamoto told her calmly, shrugging, "That guy's just the mysterious type. I bet he'll wander back whenever dinner's ready." June let herself relax a bit, having to admit that Yamamoto was again correct, and she sighed as she led the lone unit downstairs for the end of her little tour and into the kitchen. "What **is** for dinner, June?"

"How does Chicken Pesto sound?" June asked, already pulling out the ingredients without heed to what he might or might not say. "It'll be ready in like fifteen minutes if I cook fast, and then magic tonfa guy can't really complain abut having to be hungry."

"Does he?" Yamamoto laughed, glancing at the tap as June washed her hands. She caught the look, wondering whether or not it was safe to let him help cook, but decided not to broach the matter.

"Every time." June sighed, cooking frantically and chopping the chicken into bits. "He tracked me to school to tell me he was hungry. He's got a temperamental stomach, and I think that's what makes him so cranky." She winked at the unit as she began frying the chicken. "If he ate more, he'd probably be a little nicer."

**~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**

Once the units had eaten their fill, Hibari, Yamamoto and Mukuro -who had appeared again as if nothing had happened- split off in separate directions and June was left with the dishes. It made her twitch slightly and she vowed she'd figure a way to have someone but her do the cleaning for a while as she put the last plate in the cupboard with a frown.

"Carnivore," Hibari said suddenly, making her jump. "you'll need these if you want to survive that thing." He swatted her head semi-gently with a rolled up booklet and June gawked at the manual he was wielding. She snatched Mukuro's instructions from him, quickly hoarding it with the others near the armchair in the living room, and she tossed him a quick 'thank you' as she settled down to read it.

She burned through the vague and frankly unhelpful manual, scowling, and picked up Yamamoto's with her mind more at ease. So far, the baseball-loving unit hadn't been a problem and she was quite glad to have a unit that was at least semi-normal around to keep her sane. She glanced at his, certain she could handle him, but froze as she reached for the last manual.

Where was it?

"Hibari?" June called, trying not to raise her voice too loud and make him upset. "The manual that came with you... do you know where it is?"

Hibari walked in, carrying a glass of water, and glanced at her. "I destroyed it."

"Wh-What?!" June gasped, getting to her feet as shock gave way to anger. "You can't be **serious**? I needed that! How else am I suppose to deal with you?!" She strode forward, certain he was unarmed because his coat was gone, and suddenly he had her throat in a gentle but secure grip. He held her at arm's length, making her eyes bulge and her knees wobble as he glared, and his low voice rumbled through the air between them.

"You may live with me, but you do not own me, carnivore."

******~Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine!~**  
**~The 'Yamamoto' manual, however, does. ;)~  
**~The 'Hibari' and 'Mukuro' manuals belong to Cloverfish and , respectively. Check 'em out!~

**A/N: Major props to everyone who is still following my story! o7o I'm hoping you all still like June and what she's doing with her life so far, and I hope you'll let me know if there are things you want/don't want to see! This is solely for my enjoyment, so a lot of what will happen as "adventures" are just pure crack. The Pied Piper of Hamlin, finding a baby, and one of the units "hogging" June to themselves are all submissions from friends of mine. I want to write what will make you laugh.**

******Oh, yeah. [SPOILER]** Beware the next chapter (Chapter 13, oh how fitting) because I'm bringing in Bel and Fran for my own shits and giggles.


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